Lament to the BBC

Dear BBC,
As independent as a suckling pig.
Your teat milking that pestilent swine
With pint in hand and back in time.

Snugly sipping tainted trickles
From swollen, purple-painted mammary,
Nigel laughs and casts us back
To where the world would want the past.

The other piglets squeal and die,
The green one's cold, the nipple dry.
The other, jaundiced, yet to pass
But still the cries are heard en masse.

The future's plain, the path laid bare,
As blue and red still curse the air
And purple jolts a sickly shiver.
The green pig shakes and the young ones quiver.

Mad Cow Disease

On the brink, we eat, we sink,
The billion burst their seams.
A billion more barely think
Of steak and chips but dream.

The sounds of chomping mouths surround
The West, now East some too.
From East to West the clouds caress
And choke the lands of food.

The cargo sails without the wind,
The wind carries poisoned spit.
The acid burns, the trees are lit,
The soya sprawls, the cows roam through.

No room for crops, no need to muse,
Grasses stomped by ruminant hooves.
The sand encroaches, land consumed,
The forests croak, their patrons doomed.

Happy

Life's too short to be miserable,
And misery is contagious.
I'm leaving misery behind
And striding into the happy light.

I was born to be happy
And happy I am
To crack a smile on faces,
And around people like me.

Weather trodden

It's hard to get your head around...
None of it is real.
Apart from maybe the bronzed pound coins,
The stuff you can touch, and feel.

If it has no weight, there's none attached
But still the interest accrues.
You'll pay that back, at once, for tax,
Then buy a pair of shoes.

Those shoes, at least, for now are real,
If questionably leather.
And in the name of cheaper shoes,
More money made, but they won't stand weather.

Twats and aristocrats

Money is the square root of foolishness squared,
Alas none of us, woman or man, was spared.
Opting out is an option we're without,
And while we've nowt,
The bullies' bullion's never in doubt.

Aye, screw the system, the system's full of nuts
But wobble one slightly, you're drowned in dust
As you tried in vain to shake off the rust
And the spanners up top,
Snap, and smite thee down in disgust.

Goodbye Black Rhino

The Western Black Rhino has gone, forever,
But who will be blamed for this saddening demise?
Poachers and hunters are easy to shame.

But shame on this world, as globalisation
Reaps its damnation on a war-torn land
Where borders were drawn over barely-sketched lines.

They weren't the first, they won't be the last,
While the palm oil plantations ceaselessly persist,
Next up it's Orangutans soon to be past.

Mind games, Ukraine

As nations blunder on the barricaded border
The gas streaks silently through pipes underground,
As still the connections increase the order
While the news inspires chaos of minds unsound.

 The world waits in wonder as charred chasms thaw,
Plundering ships sail toward the tumbling stream.
The fossils unfrozen awake from slumber,
Their blackened blood, boiling spills out through the seams.

The Houses of Parliament

I arrive at the Houses of Parliament gate,
Behind, lies Cameron's fat, shiny face,
Buffed with oily lacquor of peasant's elbow,
Varnished with licks of Osborne's sticky jizzum.

All around me I sense the sheer twattishness
Curdle my saliva, so I nigh on choke
On the fumes of politically tarnished lives,
Smouldering in piles of rechid manure.

Of a sudden, I might have spied the truth,
Nagh, 'tis Pickles gorging on an obese hen.
I'm engulfed by supercilious white men
As if Suffrage was just a smelly fart.

I wander into a bile-tainted bookshelf
Of crusty volumes spouting spurious pish.
An alarmingly loud babble of buffoons,
Rabbling nonsense as the toddler's tongues twist.

I cry for common sense, but my silent words
Are drowned beneath the seething, callous spit,
As a rain of ignorance drenches the stalls
And the thick, rising mucus throttles my wit.

And there is Milliband licking the drips,
The pandemic meets no antiviral drug.
The system is tainted, the infection persists,
As the candid cure drains toward the plug.

Terra crima

YE, bastions of mindless misery
Sink us under a hyperglycaemic fit,
Rendered blind beneath shroud, and seemingly

Free as the caged bird flutters pinned wings,
Immersed and writhing in excrement's soil.
The horned beast thrives not below but within

We blinkered who see not a soul in our spoils;
We ravenous rampage like virus through host,
The pathogen who reaps unrepentant toil.

This pestilence presses on ceaseless encroach,
Top-heavy with teeth sunken, sucking at vein.
The sepsis seeps through while the septic feel loathe

To poison vessels lest lose monet'ry gain,
Or the burgeoning vaults of countless fresh air,
With no breath for the poor, trampled in disdain.

Cry Shame! On this scum. Cry Shame! Nowt is fair;
The chimneys still choke, chide and crassly divide,
The fields lie in tatters, the rainforests bare.

As a scientist's flask of culture, finite
This steaming sphere about to suffocate
Due to hooved carcass yielding fat-feigned delight.

So long, the masses, apathetic abstain;
A pathetic future, so much for the brain.

Paradise lost

From Paradise
we roll the dice,
The chance to thrive
has locked us in-
-To strife, we're bound
but not a sound,
The cretins last,
the wise unfound.

---

We once were one,
we once were small.
T'was all for one
and one for all.
That once ensconced,
but all at once,
What once was once,
has gone... 
   We fall.

---

Too many
this earth,
Too many
to change,
Too many
unsure,
Too many
abstain.

A burden
to many,
A burden
the brain,
A burden
the brave
  we'll never sustain.
A burden
the brave
  And cursed
    we remain. 

From the depths of hell

The storm circles high above
Yet long before the tremors trawl,
Thunder crashes,
Lightning forks,
But ear muffs dull Earth's deathly call.

The plague of seven billion swarms,
Slashing trees and spitting fire.
As hell erupts,
The corrupt cry,
For pitiful piety, though end is nigh.

From depths of hell and like a shade
My day is night, my night's awake.
I tread the brazen,
Perilous path,
For want to try, mid failure's wrath.

A reshuffle, but the feathers remain

A reshuffle, at last,
 that rogue has been slain.
Gone is the tyrant,
 Gove to the grave.

Huzzah, for the teachers,
 Steadfast who remain.
Hurrah, for the women,
 Who've taken the reigns.

But alas, within,
 This reshuffled mass.
Still lawyers, politicians,
 And economists last.

It's time

It's time, it's time, we all became wise,
It's time, for us, to all realise.
Nothing is made with us in mind,
It's packaged for eyes, and they catch us each time.

They market technology to make our lives better
But relationships weathered far stronger with letters.
Whoever invented the I-pad is laughing
All the way to their burgeoning bank.

Machines were meant to make us work less,
So we've come of age and work more to regress.
One day, they'll allay, this pointless digress,
The machines will take over the humans no less.

But over they've already taken, today,
Our living rooms, bedrooms, our saturated brains.
Our brains getting duller, the world getting smaller,
The seas getting higher and the rich growing taller.

Technology was meant to cure,
But now a curse,
And cursed for sure.

Yes, all men

Death, hail, fire and storm
May fall upon these men of scorn.
The bastards hang their prey from trees,
The bastards burn like bitter, green bile.

All the while, around the world
The girls are blamed for being girls.
Women raped for not putting out,
For putting out, they're hounded out.

One rule for scum, the scum doth crawl
While men amongst them shadow in gall.
Like wretched livers, bruised and swoll'n,
The hydroxyl bites but the enzymes fail.

Let's rally, let's rile, at these bastards smiles,
Let's wipe the smirk, in jail let them jerk.
Let them feel the bludgeoning mess from Jimmy
In the seething showers of repentant fury.

Jesus wept

Long since he spanned a crucifix,
His flock still lost, his sheep are whipped.
As pastors preach their vile deceit,
The Vatican vagabonds delve in deep.

Though not the son of god, was he,
But still he could have saved humanity.
He nursed the weak, let women speak,
He lathered lepers and loved the meek.

Alas, if he came back today,
With second coming would cometh dismay.
He tried, in vain, to change their way,
But Temple turned Church, and came what may.

They hate the gays, for women no say,
They build their wealth with none allayed.
The Vatican's vast vaults varnished, display,
No love for the poor, no purpose today.

Russians on the Dniestr

A bit like the start of World War Two,
Hitler sizing up the British Empire.
Then, Chamberlain, had no recourse,
Except to allow his tyrannical pursuit.

Fast forward, Putin, and what a crime,
Crimea, Transnistria, an old hinterland.
Like Chamberlain then, Obama is now
Half as strong, and twice as shallow.

Kyoto, where did you go?

The cravatted convene together unseen,
They sign off bills, themselves to ease
The burdens of the calls of many.
Each time, committed, alas to sleaze.

They sneeze us into a snotty tissue,
While mucus runs down to the tummy.
It all sounds yummy, what a breeze
Just write your name down, sign here please.

A tease! A tease! A bloody scandal,
Since Kyoto, less carbon?  Not a trifle.
And this here decade, the UN decreed,
For biodiversity, and did we succeed?

Nay! Nay! Again I say nay!
These bastards bandy burning dismay
To the planet, its people, its trees, its beetles,
It's on all of us, as their words are feeble.

What a Wally

Thanks to years of climate folly,
It looks like I must deploy my brolly
More and more, each year, as the storms
Come thick and fast, oh what a Wally.

Nothing is not zero

Who decided that the number zero was an appropriate constant?
If I have three apples on my plate, there are three apples there.
Take three away, and there is simply nothing.  Not zero, just space.

We have based our maths, and our knowledge of mass,
On the supposition of something which truly lacks.
Nothing is not zero, zero is not anything.  Zero has been made by man.

It strikes me as arrogant that we seek to explain every single phenomenon
Based on a system which we alone have devised
To explain a very small part of what we can hardly see.

The world is drowning

The world is drowning in a salty sea of toxic death,
Alas, none of us was told to build an ark.
The river banks smashed away by whipping wind and ripping rain,
A soggy apocalypse brought swiftly to bear.

While the levels sit soaking in tidal furore,
The gorges and dams hear barely a trickle.
The fickle fiddlers in the hot seat give not a hoot,
Their loot is their gain, no shame, no shame.

Sinking

Like in a James Bond movie,
We're trapped in a sinking submarine.
As the water rises, gathering steam,
The trap-door, above, looks cloudy.

Healthy insects

Replace your chicken with a cricket,
Your lamb shank with a locust,
Your peppered steak with a mealworm cake,
Your bacon with waxworms,
And your chop with a grasshopper.

And you'll live a whole lot longer.

The lashing rain

Then, it started,
and down it came,
in torrents and torrents
the lashing rain.
The pebbles dashed,
the windows splashed,
and little currents
careered down steep lanes.

And still it came,
yet harder to tame,
in torrents and torrents
the lashing rain.
The flood plains flashed,
the river banks thrashed,
and meandering currents
made up the lanes.

And on, the same,
with yet more disdain,
in torrents and torrents
the lashing rain.
In vain came the sun,
through clouds on the run,
But thunderous torrents
resumed, no refrain.

With force renewed
the wheelie bins flew,
in mounds of detritus
the litter was strewn,
And sinking, alas,
amid plastic bags,
the boughing branches
and flora were slewn.

And stronger, again,
the river's tirade,
in torrents and torrents
amid climate change.
The lashing thuds
and flashing floods
forever may claim
from men their terrain.

The wise person builds
their house on the rock,
alluvium plains
will never stand the rain.
But rock and sand
may well be the same
as the winds batter on
while the climate talks stagger.

Climate bankruptcy

I look at a world of rain and seas,
of grassy fields and bushy trees,
Of humming birds and bumbling bees,
of sunny summers and winter's breeze.

As far as the eye can see
the planet spins, the world goes round,
But frack the surface, drill down deep,
and find the time to act is now.

The world I see means the world to me,
but to the greedy it's cheap and easy.
Why can't they see, what quite apparently,
Might mean the end...
                                  their bankruptcy.

The swarm

A swarm of seven billion sprawls,
Spouting fumes and spitting fire,
Slashing trees, no brains, just brawn.

From swall to swell

From swall to swell,
In Britain, who can tell?
Storms one second, the next it's well.
You never know what coat to wear,
The trees may stand, some trees may fall.
But one thing is certain, from days of yore,
The storms are irregular, these days, for sure.

The Cabinet, A Canny Name

They're twenty two, to me, to you,
Some like yellow, some look blue,
It matters not, they're lying to you,
Tuition fees and fossil fuels.

The cabinet, a canny name,
Blue or yellow? All the same.
To them, the party's just a name,
They stand for nowt except their gain.

How liberal can a democrat be
If women hardly rule the party?
While Rennard could do what he pleased,
Grabbing boobs and fondling knees.

And for the Tories, what a breeze,
From Eton school to wine soirees.
At birth, a worth, of a billion pennies,
Hard to see, for some, life's not easy.

And lending, spending, what a jive,
Insidious deceit, like drones in hives,
Increasing debt, spreading lies,
An employment rise yet lives demise.

Michael Gove, tyrannical rogue,
Acadamies were his new vogue,
A building new but kids of old,
And not enough to stop the fold.

Their hearts are cold, their minds are set,
The wealthy ones whose cash is kept,
And taken from the poor, in debt,
While MPs wage increases yet...

The Fracking Liar - Vanessa Vine versus Peter Lilley.

They’re fracking gas from underground,

They’re fracking mad, not fracking sound.

As peaceful people sit around,

The GMP will batter down.

Fracking gas and cracking houses,

What’s the craic? It’s fracking lousy.

Earthquake tremors thrashing loudly,

Houses crashing down around me.

In Barton Moss, the caring call,

The GMP don’t care at all.

The "greenest ever" Tories fall

And kill the air, and fill with gall.

Peter Lilley, silly-billy,

Bathes in crude oil willy-nilly.

Won’t admit to lying will he?

Vanessa Vine destroyed him truly.

Peter Lilley, Tory twat,

And Tory twats abound like gnats,

Heads shoved so far up their ass,

Long beyond rectum, through ileum they pass.

And ill we feel, we stand aghast,

As morons weave their climate wrath,

And drilling through, spilling out, natural gas;

The fires burn, the methane blasts.

The waters churn with toxic slurry,

The babes will burn, the mothers worry.

Acrylamide - washed out in a flurry,

Glutaraldehyde, kills owt in a hurry.

The world spins round but boils over,

The kettle sounds, the lads are sober,

The drunk ones clad in blue, who rober,

Rob us all, while their chimneys smoulder.

The plighted

While it remains the case that apathy outweighs sympathy,
The plighted will never find peace.

All things we take for granted

Water, food, soil, and fuel,
All things we take for granted.
We use them past our heart's content,
Our stomachs rarely grumble.

But rumble, still, do many bellies,
Empty in a distant world.
Aching pains in the slums of Delhi,
Far flung from satiated Earls.

In Kenya, well felt, the pangs of hunger,
While Sainsbury's shelves are ripe
With fruit and veg which we have plundered
Regardless of their stomach's strife.

Abundance is a wealthy myth
Unwittingly revered.
One rule for one, and one for none,
While scarcity, for all,
  is an ever present fear.

The organic myth

A crop has never been organic,

organic never was a crop.

To crop implies some modification,

From tiny brown grains to massive yellow cobs.

Ten thousand years to maize from teosinte,

Ten thousand years to modify five genes.

Guided by man's manipulative hand,

Cross-breeding, selecting, and mutating seeds.

No corn, no cob, no carrot, no pea pod,

No bushel of wheat, no barley, no swede,

No tatty, no turnip, no parsnip, no beet,

Nor any of our plethora of domesticated crops...

Have ever been organic,

never will be organic,

And there's no fucking difference

between GM and organic.

Britain in Europe

We're in a land where the wise

Are led by the blind,

Not unseeing through their eyes

But through blue misted lies.

It's a deceiving suggestion

That we go it alone;

If not a part of Europe,

We'll never make it on our own.

Imagine if...

Imagine if,
instead of just aristocrats,
instead of just idiots in ties, and cravats,
instead of just rich, white, supercilious men,
instead of the same, stifling, stuttering cabinet...

We had one composed
of those we chose
from a selection of the best,
to which no person is closed.

Imagine if,
instead we had women,
as many as we have men,
instead we had gay men,
instead we had lesbian women,
instead we had black, white, tanned and tattooed people,
instead we had disabled people, able people, and failed people,
instead we had scientists, artists, and anarchists,
instead we had plumbers, joiners and carpenters,
instead we had people from every walk of life,
working together to make things right...

It's nice to imagine.

A big mis-Steak

From the smog of Shanghai to Ulaanbaatar,

The middling classes are fuming with tar,

While in Britain and Deutschland the lads fill the bars,

Their livers eroding, like pickles in jars.

Yet while the white sticks of cancer are slighted,

And the perils of piss-ups jaundice the plighted,

The slaughter of steak, and those who bite it,

Remains disregarded as the dying ones fight it.

On a packet of cigarettes it is plain to see

The effect on our lungs of cloudy nicotine,

But chowing down mounds of saturated meat

Still seems to many to represent a treat.

It's socially normal to chastise those who smoke,

A tut and a head shake may accompany a toke.

The hypocrites mutter as the lads down a potion,

While they gleefully swill down their fat-laden portions.

With the onset of expanding waistlines worldwide,

As the ravaging effects of obesity reside,

It is folly that we still strip meat from the hide,

An appetite of no more than untimely demise.

Dark Starry Night

From near and far the troops came down,
And rounded up with baton and hound,
The streets fell silent, a barren new town,
No children's voice heard from any playground.

In droves, no fewer, the masses were slewn,
And shattered corpses were littered and strewn.
Their blood, running violet, was found seeping through
A trembling landscape and violence renewed.

They who escaped lay trapped by a boulder,
The days drew short and the nights grew colder,
As the women and men sat shoulder to shoulder,
And resilience then became bolder and bolder.

"You bastard!" She said, as he left her for dead,
While the dark, starry night filled her with dread,
And she clutched at the wound to the side of her head,
Then blessed the cold ground and kissed her last bed.

Why can't? - Wish list for 2014

Why can't
females, shemales, males and those
without a gender to predispose,
black men, tanned women, and pasty albinos,
guys with guns and fluorescent flamingos,
gay people, straight people,
bisexual, or confused people,
rich people, poor people,
tall people and small people,
buyers, sellers, traders, merchants,
keepers, carers, masters, servants,
governments, nations, international organisations,
bankers, shareholders and transnational corporations,
transient prime ministers, stalwart back-benchers,
powerful presidents and dutiful dissenters,
prudent police, peaceful protesters,
politicians, judges, scientists and inventors,
farmers with cattle, badgers in sets,
earthworms in topsoil and bees amongst petals,
tropical forests, precious metals,
biodiversity and industrial fettle,
renewable energy and motor driven wheels,
sustainable concern and bountiful yields,
maize, wheat, Monsanto and Greenpeace,
organic fields and genetically modified seeds,
Popes, preachers, teachers, students,
those who are weak and those who are prudent,
just get along?