Toiletiquette

Seeing red, definition:

That moment when you're in joyous relief
and the door handle thrusts you out of Nirvana,
violently shaken,
as if the engaged sign were merely an invitation.

Brown nosing, suggestion:

The place where the face of the offender should be sent
in lieu of leaving streaks of brown in the u-bend,
as if that brush were there merely for the pleasure
of knowing that there exists a brush.